


Peter's Modern Life

by ChasingAfterMidnight



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Fluff and Humor, Peter visits Terra and learns about their technology, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 03:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11152851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingAfterMidnight/pseuds/ChasingAfterMidnight
Summary: Peter and the rest of the Guardians take a trip to Terra, where they are (obviously) intercepted by Tony Stark. And thus, Peter learns about modern technology, discovers that not all of Terra is cool with giving up old tech like cassette players, and the Guardians realise there could be a being in the universe more frustrating than Drax.Set post-GotG Vol 2, so mild spoilers, but the timeline isn't too important.





	Peter's Modern Life

**Author's Note:**

> The title is meant to reference Rocko's Modern Life, but Peter's name really doesn't fit right.

“Wait, you’re telling me people are still using cassette tapes to listen to music? I mean, surely Terra- sorry, Earth – would have moved on by now.” Peter was staring at the screen of Stark’s (humbly named) StarkPhone, which displayed both places to buy cassette tapes and passionate rants from lovers of the shift to older technology.

Stark snorted, gesturing to the Walkman that rested on his hip. “You’re not one to talk, you’re listening to tapes on a historical relic.”

Drax, who had been standing by the window in Stark’s tower with Rocket, quickly turned to Stark, his expression cautious. “I would not advise verbally addressing Quill’s attachment to his music player. He becomes very easily aggressive.”

Rocket bared his teeth. “More like he’ll try and shave you in the middle of the night because you were trying to improve it-”

“You were taking it apart!” Peter interrupted.

“To see how it worked! I was gonna put it back when I was done.” Rocket said, looking down and scratching the back of his head with his paw.

Drax, seemingly satisfied with his faux-apology and proud of his small, furry friend, went to give him a pat on the head, but quickly withdrew his hand when Rocket snapped at it and glared up at him. This, of course, started a very frustrating and pointless argument between the two of them, since Drax barely understood half of what Rocket was saying, and Rocket took that as a deliberate attack against him. While they were arguing, Peter thought back to the night Rocket had tried to ruin his most prized possession.

Peter had walked in on Rocket surrounded by parts of his Walkman aboard the Milano weeks ago, and had promptly freaked out. Peter believed he was being completely rational, since Rocket “shouldn’t just take stuff apart that’s not yours without asking” and Rocket believed he didn’t do anything wrong, claiming “you wouldn’t have agreed to it, so why would I even ask?” as his excuse.

Safe to say, it didn’t go down too well with Peter. He made Rocket put it all back together – exactly as it was, no explosives or “improvements” – and then proceeded to sulk until Gamora hit him over the head with reality. Figuratively. She also hit him in reality, but she’ll claim she was justified, since apparently a four-day sulk is “excessive and childish”.

Gamora, who had turned from standing to the side of Peter, was glaring daggers at Drax and Rocket, who were still arguing. “Would you two stop?! And Peter, that was weeks ago, and you are an adult.”

That quickly brought silence to the duo. Drax turned back to the window, and Rocket jumped up on a nearby shelf and perched himself there. He made a show of taking out some spare parts from his pockets and was shuffling them around.

Stark, who had remained uncharacteristically quiet during the exchange, decided to just go along with it. His life was already weird enough before including talking racoons and hot green women with swords. He probably would have freaked out more if he knew about the sentient tree left aboard the Milano, but for now, he was content in his ignorance. He focused his attention back on Peter; more specifically, his choice of music player.

“Are we ever going to get to why you have a literal Walkman in 2017? You know we have phones, and music players, hell, even CDs, right? Don’t they have music in space?” He asked.

“It’s a gift.” Gamora replied, when it was clear that Peter wasn’t going to divulge too much of his personal history to a relative stranger that he met just that week.

While they had come back to Terra for a “holiday” according to Peter (which translated to “an excuse to visit my mother’s grave because the whole Ego situation has put me in a very reflective mood and now I miss her more than usual” in decoded speech), they were quickly intercepted by what appeared to be a metal man.

It had, of course, turned out to be Tony Stark, a member of the “discount, Terra-bound Guardians of the Galaxy”. That comment earnt Rocket some of Stark’s more advanced weaponry aimed at him, but, Rocket being Rocket, had taken that moment to study as much of it as he could, and laugh as he realised just how far behind Terrans were with their technology.

“Wait, back up. But you said Terrans- uh, people on Earth, still use cassettes?” Peter asked, confused.

“Yeah, don’t ask me why, Porcupine, but it’s apparently the cool thing now to use old tech and products when what we have now is so much better.” Stark said, pulling up more pictures and videos of the second rise of vinyl, VHS tapes, and the general hipster aesthetic.

Drax was once more tuned back into the conversation.

“Porcupine?” He asked.

“You know, Quill? Porcupines have quills?” At Drax’s continued blank look, Stark sighed. “Ugh, never mind, you’re worse than Rogers.”

“Never mind about porcupines. They’re a Terran animal.” Peter quickly clarified. “Why are they using tapes? They weren’t even reliable when we had a choice of tapes or records. They’d stretch and warp, and you’d have to get a pen to fix ‘em all the time.”

“Tell that to the hipsters lost in this generation.” Stark scoffed.

“How can you be lost in a period of time?”

Without facing him, Stark replied, “Remind me to introduce you to Thor, big guy; you’ll love him. You’re basically the same person. So, Star-Quill, were you going to stand there asking questions all day or did you want some fancy new music tech?”

Peter narrowed his eyes. “How fancy?”

“How many songs does that tape have on it?” He asked.

Peter didn’t even need to think about it. He’d heard the contents of both of his tapes upwards of hundreds of times. Probably thousands of times if he was being honest with himself. He knew every word, every track, every moment in every song. “Twelve. Why?”

Stark smirked. “How would you feel about thousands of songs in an infinitely more reliable, smaller, and more durable player than what you’ve got?”

“…Thousands.”

Peter was dumbfounded. In not even thirty years, Terran technology had advanced so much, to now apparently have what Peter could have only dreamed of when he was a kid, and it was a common thing. Terrans were just walking around with access to libraries of music. Peter was struck with the realisation that the Ravagers would have killed for that kind of technology, if only to make Peter stop singing the same dozen songs over and over.

“Thousands.” Stark confirmed. “I’ll get JARVIS to hook you up with the best of what we have now, and – when were you taken, like, the 80s? I’ll make him give you almost every song worth listening to that came out in the past fifty years. Mainly 80s though, figured that’s what you’re used to. Can’t imagine you’d be much of an EDM fan for a while, have to ease you into it. You know what? I’ll be generous, chuck you in some wireless headphones too – the ones you have now can’t be too convenient when you’re out fighting aliens or whatever you do when you’re not taking a joyride to Earth.”

Peter just stared. He couldn’t believe this – a complete stranger to him, within the course of a week, went from threatening his friend to offering him technology he could never had imagined existed. Rocket looked up at his expression, and gave a (very real) laugh.

“So, when’s the big proposal?” He asked. “The look on his face says he’s more than willing to marry you right now, Stark.”

“But I was led to believe that Quill and Gamora have an “unspoken thing”, which is apparently a metaphor for an intricate courting ritual-” Drax started.

“Hey, hey, none of that,” Peter said. “You’re not meant to know about that, and you’re definitely not allowed to talk about it in public.”

“I wouldn’t dream of taking you away from Elphaba here.” Stark said. “I’m too curious what your babies would look like. Would they be light green? Wait, do you even have the same biology as humans? Do you get pregnant like humans do? Do you have-”

“Okay!” Peter exclaimed. “Who wants to go now? I want to go now. Let’s go now and stop talking about me and Gamora and go back to our lovely ship where we won’t talk about this in any way, shape, or form, and I can pretend this whole conversation never happened.”

“Oh no, Peter Pan – you’re staying, you still have to meet the rest of the team.” Stark said, already working out which of the Avengers would most annoy each Guardian.

“There are more of you?” Gamora asked. “I should hope you are the most irritating of your comrades, for their sake.”

Stark just grinned. “I’m definitely starting with Thor. He’s great with people, especially people who are different to him. Hell, he might even remind you of the ol’ Destroyer over here.”

Gamora and Peter shared a look. To have Drax interact with anyone similar to himself in terms of general language comprehension was going to be hell, and if Stark was involved, it was unlikely to be any better.

“I’ll look forward to it, surely.” Gamora said drily.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this to procrastinate writing a Harry Potter fic oops. Also Groot was left on the ship in this fic, because he's a bab and needs to be protected - who knows what they'd do to him if a bunch of Terrans found a sentient tree. It wasn't for any other reason. Totally not.


End file.
